Among the most profound expressions of love are the relationships that shape a child’s earliest years. Just as love between adults fosters connection and growth, the loving relationships children experience with caregivers lay the foundation for their brains, their resilience and their lifelong capacity to learn.
Like a gardener nurturing a young sapling, adults shape the development of young children. From birth to age 5, a child’s brain develops more rapidly than at any other time in life and at a rate of 1 million neural connections formed every second. These connections are not random; they are shaped by interactions with caregivers. When a parent soothes a crying baby, engages in playful back-and-forth, or responds to a toddler’s endless “why” questions, they are literally wiring the child’s brain for trust, empathy and curiosity.
Conversely, when these nurturing interactions are absent or inconsistent, the effects can be devastating. “Research shows that children who experience neglect or chronic stress during early childhood often face long-term challenges, including difficulties in learning, poor emotional regulation, and even physical health issues. The reason? Stress hormones like cortisol flood the brain, disrupting neural development and impairing the very areas critical for memory, attention, and emotional control. Such research highlights the profound biological impact of relational deprivation.”
Children today often are raised in smaller, more isolated family units, with less access to extended family and community support. Playtime — a key driver of relational and cognitive development — has been reduced, as overscheduled lives and academic pressures dominate. Friendships are fewer, and technology increasingly intrudes on face-to-face interactions. Screen time often replaces the crucial human connections that build trust, empathy and relational skills.
The good news is that positive relationships can act as a buffer against these risks. Secure attachments — built through consistent, loving interactions — not only mitigate the effects of stress but also promote the development of critical brain functions like executive control, problem-solving, and adaptability — foundational skills for success in school and beyond.
For early education, this means that fostering relationships must be at the core of teaching and learning. Educators who connect with their young learners on a personal level create an environment in which children feel safe and valued, feeding a biological need and aligning with developmentally appropriate practice, which refers to methods that emphasize a strengths-based, play-based approach. When children feel secure, their brains are free to explore, experiment and absorb new information.
Schools can amplify these effects by prioritizing relational practices, such as morning meetings, collaborative projects and one-on-one check-ins with little ones and families. Policies that support smaller class sizes and professional development in social-emotional learning can further empower educators to be relational leaders.
The ripple effects extend beyond the classroom. Children who grow up in relationally rich environments are more likely to become relational adults, effective leaders and engaged citizens. They are better equipped to navigate the complexities of life because they have learned, from the very beginning, that relationships are the bedrock of human existence and increasingly a major differentiator in our future of work increasingly dominated by artificial intelligence.
Investing in early relationships is not just an act of kindness, it is a societal imperative; it builds our future relational economy. When we nurture the relational foundations of our youngest learners by showing them love, we unlock their potential and, in turn, create a brighter future for us all.
Isabelle Hau
Isabelle Hau is the director of the Stanford Accelerator for Learning and author of the book, “Love to Learn: The Transformational Power of Care and Connection in Early Education.”
Michelle Kang
Michelle Kang is chief executive officer of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC), an organization dedicated to high quality early learning for all children.
